Not Digging on Twitter

Image via CrunchBase

If anyone fits the profile of someone who would use Twitter for work purposes, it’s me. I co-founded a Web 2.0 information company based Silicon Valley. I am primarily responsible for all things social networking-ish with regard to our members. My title is VP of Community. I write a blog with a Sales 2.0 bend and constantly espouse the need to be flexible and use technology to your advantage as a sales person. I even use Twitter to write the little “Garth is…” ditties on the right side of your screen-and have 45 people following me (no offense-I don’t return the interest and follow 0 people). Supposedly Google algorithms like this type of content and it will drive traffic, so I dutifully try to jot something down about once every two weeks- usually about Boston sports.

But I need to tell you that I can’t get beyond the thought that for a working professional Twitter is totally stupid.

To clarify I’m not addressing the lunatic fringe of individual Twitterheads or Tweats or whatever. Everyone has a friend that can’t stop spamming your Facebook with posts about his latest bowel movement. Or knows people that sit in dinner meetings and type the blow by blow about the conversation to people actually sitting at the table. I’ll stop short of declaring that there seems to be an entire generation (eerily age independent) of people emerging that don’t seem to think an event happened if they don’t document it in 140 characters or less to their network of cyber-friends…but I guess I just said it now, didn’t I?

These are too easy a target. I’m questioning the idea that Twitter is a viable channel for getting real business done. At the risk of pulling a Ken Olson, I just can’t link all these individuals blathering on about whatever inane BS pops into their mind to a coherent sales or marketing channel that makes money. Despite all the buzz about “microblogging” and marketing people scrambling to define their “Twit” strategy, even the Twitter website says they don’t know how they’re going to make money yet. Sounds very podcasting- like to me; does anyone know what happened to that craze?

It seems like blasphemy and I’m sure the backlash will be swift and immediate. My Community Manager will IM me in 5 minutes- not because she is mad or thinks I’m stupid- because she will be “disappointed.”  Like a true believer sees an atheist. But I’ll issue the challenge anyway: prove me wrong. Show me how to close a million dollar deal using Twitter and I’ll start Twitting my brains out.