How to trash your competition…without getting garbage juice on your pants

Before we started Jigsaw, Jim Fowler and I worked in the email marketing space. It was 2002; marketing budgets were being gutted and second guessed. Every deal was a dogfight- not one penny went uncontested by one of the 25 other similar companies out there trying to survive. Our company had the largest customers doing the most complex programs, but our product was the most expensive, required the most services work and lacked critical features. As much as I may have wanted to take the high road, any successful sales cycle included getting a boot on the neck of my competitor and holding them down long enough to get the deal signed.

I have written all over this blog about being positive, not bashing the competition, never mud slinging the other guy.  And I believe that wholeheartedly- Oracle, Siebel, Parametric, and other “scorched earth” sales companies always ultimately are hurt by their vicious reputations.  But that doesn’t mean there aren’t crafty ways to get a leg up on your competitors. Here’s a few of my favorites:

The Cold Fish Compliment: Anyone who has a salty grandmother or mother-in-law knows how to do this one. “She’s a nice girl, Garth; she’ll make someone around here (East Jesus, Vermont) a good companion.” Just what you’re shooting for at 17, right? I used to say that my competitor’s product- the one that cost 1/10^th what mine did, was easy to implement, and had more features out of the box- was “a good transactional engine for marketing departments with limited goals.”

Unfriendly Insider: In an incestuous market like Silicon Valley, everyone has worked with everyone. Whenever I was asked about a certain competitor I would say “I have a lot of friends working there, so I don’t want to say anything that might hurt them” or “they were a close partner of mine at such and such company and I really shouldn’t air dirty laundry.” When the obvious prodding came I would lob out the casual “I think all their services talent is in flight” or “Isn’t their executive team under indictment?” or whatever gnarly but pertinent detail that popped into my head.

Facial Homicide: It’s not what you say; it’s how you say it. I consider myself a master expressionist (more distorting language to fit my meaning than related to art). Whenever a competitor comes up I get the most dismissive, “those guys can’t hold my jock” look on my face, but say something totally congratulatory. A knowing smile with just a hint of “those guys ride the small bus” works wonders to discredit the most formidable competitor.

I’m ugly but he’s disfigured: Break only in emergencies- this deal is slipping away. By now you better have become friendly enough with the customer that you can “speak with them privately” or better yet, get trashed with them. At the right moment of vulnerability, lay your weaknesses on the table in a lump. Let it sink in how brutally honest you are, not like a sales guy at all, and then let the guy who is getting the deal have it. Everything you have heard about them and a bunch of imaginative dirt to boot. This might backfire, but you’re basically out of the deal already so what the hell, right?

You might be reading this thinking that I am truly a slippery sales guy. I am actually totally reformed as a company founder. Now when asked about the competition I tell it straight, with no hinting expressions. The contact data you get from list venders, traditional data aggregators and web crawlers sucks.