Last week I somewhat lazily posted Fowler’s pep talk for writing a concise and effective prospecting email to an executive. Who knew that during the same week that this was posted, I would become the target of one of the lamest sales outreaches I have ever had the pleasure to ignore and ultimately stifle.
As it says in my contact instructions on Jigsaw--which a sales guy should ignore at his own peril- I am open to receiving contact from most salespeople out of professional courtesy. I simply ask that people note my job responsibilities and direct their enquiries about technology, marketing software, or financial advice to the appropriate person (VP engineering, VP Marketing or some other founder guy- I spend my leftover pennies at the track- respectively). What I failed to include is that Jigsaw is a data company, so list rental companies also need not apply. Duh.
So who starts in on me last week?
Monday at around 10AM (wrong #1- I’m groggy from weekend and way too busy then) some guy with the title National Sales Director from Data Company X (#2) leaves me a message with just his first name (#3) saying that it is urgent (HUGE #4) that I call him back. That’s it.
I run the Community for Jigsaw and my contact data is splashed all over the site. A message like this could potentially be from:
- one of our 485,000 registered members
- some friend- of- a -friend on Linked In
- an old lady that doesn’t quite get the web and wants to report a fight she witnessed at Denny’s (I get those calls, too)
- a wayward in-law travelling from the East Coast
- ANYBODY.
But I had a feeling this was a sales call so I looked up the person in our member directory and he was not a Jigsaw member (#5). Data Company X was in Jigsaw, so I noted the general number and the fact that some rookie sales guy was trying to sell me data and forgot about it.
Later that day I get a one line email with no mention of a connection to the vmail (#6) and no description of what this guy is offering( #3 x 2)- only that it is “urgent that I call him back “(#4 x2). Tuesday another voicemail (#1-6), although this time he mentions that “Jigsaw’s marketing will see immediate results.” (#7 vague) So at least I know he isn’t a relative. Thursday I get a voicemail from another name from that company (#8) with the same message (#1-6).After seeing my phone light up with this number maybe 5 more times on Friday (#9- don’t short call me unless you have at least talked with me before and we have established who you are and what you want- otherwise I am liable to pick up the phone and TEAR YOU A NEW ONE) that week, I finally call them back out of curiosity to see if this might be a joke.
The next wave of idiocy I need to bullet point or this will be 5 pages long:
10. I get put on hold for 5 minutes (like he works for my bank)
11. When he does answer he doesn’t remember who I am (I’m almost laughing now)
12. He fumbles over my question about the other name calling me, first saying it was his “helper” and then affirming my statement that he is the Director so maybe that was a sales guy on his team
13. I have to interrupt a diatribe about his office setup to ask what the call is for
14. He tells me that his company “has produced great marketing results for Jigsaw’s competitors"
15. He lists 4 companies of which only one is even in the same business as Jigsaw
16. He attempts to argue with me as to what Jigsaw does (OK knucklehead, experiment over)
17. After I rip him for leaving “urgent” messages, tell him to email any future sales correspondence and hang up on him, he sends me an email that says “here is my contact information, its (sic) your move.”
I am so glad Jigsaw is in the data business. With sales guys like this as our competition, the industry’s lunch is ours!
